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What to do if your ex won’t let you collect your belongings?

A typical separation controversy arises when collecting the belongings from the ex-partner’s house . The circumstances that occur in couple breakups generate anger, disappointments and positions that seem impossible to reconcile.

If it is not possible to agree in a rational and balanced manner, there is the option of going to court and complaining. Testing will be key in this instance. And so will a minimum willingness to do their part so that everything goes forward, even with a little common sense.

Collect your belongings in a separation

Ideally, the member of the couple who leaves the house takes their belongings with them at the same time. This will save future conflicts and unpleasant moments for everyone such as a judicial instance. But it is not always possible, in practice, due to all types of circumstances.

If you have decided to return at another time to collect your belongings from the ex’s house, you have to plan that moment. Make a list of belongings and belongings, agree on a day and time and bring a witness. However, if they do not reach an agreement for a friendly division, it will be necessary to resort to other types of solutions.

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Mediation to collect belongings from your ex’s house

Many ex-couples have lost all capacity for dialogue and remain firm in defending their own interests. In these cases it is necessary to go to a third party, it may be a mediating lawyer , to interfere and facilitate this recovery of assets.

Judicial claim of assets

To claim the belongings that are in the ex’s house through judicial means, evidence will be the key. For this reason, it is essential that the interested party take measures that certify his possession and interest in her property.


The same day you leave the home or the breakup occurs, you must send a burofax or similar claiming the belongings. In some cases it may be enough to obtain a refund, otherwise it is proof that you intended to get your property back. In this document it is advisable to detail all the elements with a description that is as specific as possible.

Ordinary asset recovery process

The interested party has the power to request action in court to recover his or her belongings. For this procedure to progress positively, it must be demonstrated:

  1. Ownership of belongings: details of the objects, serial numbers, proof of purchase and all documentation that can be collected.
  2. Interest in belongings: provide proof of previous requests for the return of belongings.
  3. Other evidence: you can present photographs, lists of assets signed by the other party, witnesses who validate that the belongings were inside the ex’s house.

How to recover your belongings if they are marital property?

Marriages under community property regime must follow the established procedure for breakups of this type. The interested party must request an inventory of marital assets in the corresponding courts. That is, the details of the assets to be distributed between the former spouses.

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This step is carried out immediately after the divorce process has begun .

When do you collect your belongings from your ex’s house?

It is advisable to remove personal belongings at the same time you decide to leave the common home. There are circumstances that prevent this act, such as:

  • Lack of means to transport belongings.
  • Refusal of the other party to collect personal items.

If it is not possible to collect the belongings immediately, it must be done as soon as possible. Every hour that passes can increase the chance of losing those items.

Risks of not collecting belongings immediately

If you let time pass without removing personal belongings from your ex’s house, depending on the circumstances of the breakup, there are very common risks, which are repeated in practice:

  • That belongings are sold, given away, hidden, disappeared. That is, once they are claimed, the other party argues that they are not in the house or that the person filing the claim has already collected them.
  • That the ex claims that they are his property, so if he has sufficient evidence he will not be able to recover them.
  • The conflict intensifies and arguments grow that affect the couple and their entire environment.

Is it necessary to collect the belongings from the ex’s house?

Each person must reflect and evaluate to what extent it is appropriate to collect belongings after a breakup. If it is only minor elements, it may be easier to forget them and maintain the peace of mind achieved with the separation.

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When it comes to items of monetary or emotional value, for work use, etc., it is surely quite advisable to request a return.

In conclusion

As in all family conflicts, the ideal is to aim for dialogue. As long as agreements can be reached between the parties in a rational and balanced manner, it will be more beneficial for them and the entire environment.

The reality is that a large percentage of separations or divorces do not have this degree of maturity. The marital regime is what defines the division of assets. However, one of the main disagreements is in the recovery of personal belongings after one left the house.

The most effective ways to collect belongings are:

  1. Mutual agreement achieved through conversation in a neutral location.
  2. If the above does not work, go to a third party expert in mediation who can facilitate the act of recovering belongings.
  3. If the goal is not achieved, go to court to begin a process of asset recovery.

To be successful in judicial proceedings, it is essential to certify the ownership of the objects . Documents such as photographs, videos, purchase invoices, description and serial number, etc. are valid. Another required element is linked to the proof that these elements were in the house and the attempts made to recover them.

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