How to Find a Good Divorce Lawyer

How to Find a Good Divorce Lawyer?

Understand Your Needs

A good divorce lawyer can help guide you through an incredibly difficult and emotional time. The divorce process is filled with complex financial and familial decisions. An experienced lawyer is key, but finding the right attorney starts with understanding what you need most right now.

How to find a good divorce lawyer on Reddit?

Here are some tips for finding a good divorce lawyer on Reddit:

  • Search for your city or state’s subreddit and post asking for recommendations for local divorce/family law attorneys. Experiences from others in your area can be helpful.
  • Look for subreddits like r/legaladvice, r/divorce, or r/custody that have threads discussing or reviewing lawyers. Take note of the reputable attorneys mentioned.
  • Check if your state/city subreddit has an FAQ or wiki with law firm recommendations. Some subreddits compile and rate local professionals.
  • Once you have a few potential lawyers in mind, search their names on Reddit to find feedback and clients’ impressions about working with them.
  • Look for AMAs (Ask Me Anything) by divorce/family lawyers and engage with them to get a sense of their expertise and communication style.
  • Join your state or metro area’s divorce/single parent subreddit and ask for advice on lawyers with experience handling your type of situation.
  • Contact well-reviewed lawyers for consultations, communicate clearly your needs, and gauge their responsiveness before retaining one.
  • Avoid choosing based on ads alone. Seek actual client experiences on diligence, costs, communication skills, and results.
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Process vs. Outcome Focused

Think about whether having an empathetic guide through each step is most important or if you want someone laser-focused on achieving specific outcomes no matter the cost emotionally or financially. There is no right answer, just insight into your priorities.

Amicable vs. Contentious

If you and your spouse aim to mediate and collaborate, selecting an aggressive litigator may do more harm than good. Or in high-conflict divorces, a sharply skilled trial lawyer is likely better equipped to protect your interests.

Create a List of Qualities to Look For

Once you better understand your emotional and legal support needs, make a list of must-have qualities in a divorce lawyer for your situation.

Experience with Family Law

Look for an attorney well-versed specifically in family law versus a general practice lawyer. Family law expertise aids in navigating complex divorce litigation laws and process nuances.

Strong Negotiation Skills

Even in contentious divorces settlement through mediation first is common, so negotiation skills increase the chances of favorable outcomes.

Trial Experience

If negotiation fails, a lawyer with trial experience gives you more leverage and preparation. But trial should be a last resort given emotional and financial tolls.

Good Listener

Compassion helps lawyers strategize cases suiting your emotional needs too. Do they make you feel heard? That rapport can provide support during the rollercoaster of divorce.

Ask People You Trust for Referrals

People who you trust and who know you well can provide attorney suggestions suiting your needs.

Friends and Family

If they went through a divorce ask what worked or hadn’t for their situation and lawyers.

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Therapists and Counselors

Mental health professionals often can recommend divorce lawyers with empathetic approaches should that be a priority.

Contact State Bar Associations

State bars connect you with vetted lawyers. Retained lawyers must meet ethical standards for licensing.

Interview Several Divorce Lawyers

It’s smart to consult a few attorneys before deciding. Many offer free initial consultations allowing you to assess skills and fit.

Free Initial Consultations

Interview multiple lawyers without paying initial fees. But if paying for high-quality counsel is the priority that changes strategies.

Come Prepared with Questions

Make a list of must-ask questions for each interview allowing you to compare.

How do you approach settlements?

Understanding philosophies provides insight into process strategies and negotiation aims.

What will you need from me?

Expectations regarding involvement, responsiveness, and access to financial information are key.

What are your fees and billing practices?

Some charge flat fees while others bill by the hour. Understand all-inclusive costs.

Assess from Short Interviews After each, note thoughts regarding expertise, communication style, and cost structure. What tradeoffs matter most?

Select the Best Attorney for You

Once you’ve interviewed prospects, decide based on these key factors:

Experience and Success Rate

Highly experienced lawyers with proven success managing cases like yours are the safest bets. Ask about percentages of settlements versus trials.

Communication Fit

The lawyer should make you feel comfortable, provide empathy, and commit clear communication practices.

Billing Structure and Rates

Align fee structures and rates to your budget constraints and case expectations regarding the effort required.

Risks and Downsides

No lawyer is perfect, so discuss weaknesses, risks, or downsides upfront to ensure fit still aligns with your needs despite those.

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Selecting the right divorce lawyer provides critical legal and emotional support when you need it most.

Take time to understand your priorities, research all options thoroughly through initial consultations, and decide based on the lawyer’s ability to meet your needs with compassion. This thoughtful process can lead to the counsel best equipped to represent your personal interests in this challenging transition.


Finding a skilled and compassionate divorce lawyer to represent your interests requires assessing both professional qualifications and personal rapport built through initial consultations. Weigh factors like family law expertise, negotiation skills, communication styles, and billing practices against your individual situation and needs.

Although a difficult process emotionally, taking time for due diligence allows you to maximize chances of favorable outcomes during an already challenging life transition. With the right legal guidance, many achieve amicable divorces through mediation allowing both parties to move constructively into the next chapters.


1.What if I can’t afford a top divorce lawyer?

There are affordable options like mediation clinics through law schools, pro bono programs through state bar associations, and lawyers open to payment plans or flat fees for basic services.

2.Should I ask potential lawyers about the other spouse?

A reputable lawyer won’t disparage the other party, but assessing perspectives on previous cases with that spouse can provide useful insights.

3.How long does the average divorce take?

It varies dramatically based on factors like assets if a settlement is reached, children involved, and state laws. National averages range from 1-2 years but complicated cases can take much longer.

4.What percentage of divorces settle out of court?

Approximately 95% of divorce cases are settled before trial. Even contentious cases often end in settlement once litigation pressures mount regarding financial and emotional costs.

5.What should I do to prepare for the initial consultation?

Make a timeline of your relationship, gather all financial statements related to joint and individual assets, make a list of questions for the lawyer, and outline your emotional and legal priorities.

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