Cycle of gender violence: phases and signs to recognize

Unfortunately, gender violence is a widespread phenomenon that affects all sociocultural and economic classes, regardless of age, religious beliefs or race. Gender violence begins in a subtle way, with certain behaviors, attitudes of misogyny, comments and occasional episodes.

As in toxic relationships, it is very important from the beginning not to underestimate these events or downplay them, something that usually happens in the early stages of the relationship.

Knowing how to recognize the initial signs of an abusive relationship can be essential to ending it before the affected person becomes increasingly vulnerable, progressively loses the ability to defend themselves and finds themselves immersed in a spiral from which it can be difficult to escape. Therefore, in this article, we focus on the cycle of gender violence and its phases, how to recognize it and how it can be confronted.

According to Walker, there are three phases in this upward cycle. In each of them, the person who perpetrates violence seeks to control and further isolate the victim. Understanding this pattern may be crucial to stopping the cycle of intimate partner violence, which primarily occurs against women. Likewise, it is relevant to briefly address what is understood by gender violence today.

To do this, we take the definition of Organic Law 1/2004, of December 28, on Comprehensive Protection Measures against Gender Violence, which in its articles 1.1 and 1.3 defines every act of violence: The cycle of gender violence impacts not only at the individual level, but also represents a social problem of great relevance.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), approximately 1 in 3 women in the world have experienced situations of physical or sexual violence by their partner at some point in their lives (WHO, 2021).

Likewise, in Spain, from 2003 (when data began to be collected) until October 2025, there are 1,329 female fatalities due to gender violence (by a partner or ex-partner), according to data from the Government Delegation against Gender Violence of the Ministry of Equality (2025). These data highlight the importance of giving visibility to the cycle of gender violence and having effective resources for its prevention and addressing.

Within the cycle of gender violence, there are many forms of intimate partner violence that can often occur together: Women who experience a spiral of gender violence and live in an abusive relationship may feel afraid, feel trapped and without a way out, and experience deep isolation. It's normal to wonder how you got to that point and to feel that way.

As we said before, at the beginning of a relationship these behaviors are usually subtle and sporadic, and then gradually become stronger and more frequent. But why can it be so difficult to break an abusive relationship in which gender violence exists? Let's look at the strategy of gradualness that Noam Chomsky talks about.

The boiled frog syndrome, by the American philosopher Noam Chomsky, is an analogy that allows us to understand how to live an abusive relationship. It is useful to understand the concept of passive acceptance and how there are situations that change progressively, causing damage that is not perceived in the short term and generating delayed reactions. Imagine a pot full of cold water in which a frog swims calmly.

A fire is lit under the pot and the water is slowly heated. It soon becomes lukewarm. The frog does not find it unpleasant and continues swimming. The temperature begins to rise and the water becomes hot. It's a higher temperature than the frog likes. He gets a little tired, but he doesn't get scared. The water becomes very hot and the frog finds it very unpleasant, but it is weakened and does not have the strength to react.

The frog holds on and does nothing. Meanwhile, the temperature rises again and the frog ends up simply boiled. This theory of Chomsky, known as the gradual strategy, shows us that when a change occurs gradually, it escapes consciousness and, therefore, does not provoke any reaction or opposition.

If the water was already boiling, the frog would never haveentered the pot or, if it had been immersed directly in water at 50 °C, it would have been ejected. The situation in which the frog finds itself in the pot of boiling water is similar to that experienced by many women who are trying to get out of a violent relationship.

To better understand how a woman who suffers gender violence struggles to break that relationship, we refer again to the theory of the cycle of violence by psychologist Lenore Walker. Walker's cycle of violence is associated with violence

References & Sources

• Both, L. M., Favaretto, T. C., & Freitas, L. H. M. (2019). Cycle of violence in women victims of domestic violence: Qualitative analysis of OPD 2 interview.
• Ministry of Equality (2025). Monthly Statistical Bulletin. October 2025.

This article is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for personalized medical, psychological, or legal advice.