Covert Narcissism: Characteristics, Relationships, and Support

Narcissism is a personality disorder that can manifest itself in different ways, including grandiose narcissism and covert narcissism. These two modalities, although they share some common roots, are expressed in very different ways and can profoundly affect the quality of relationships and personal well-being.

In this article we explore the differences between grandiose narcissism and covert narcissism, focusing on the latter: we analyze its characteristics, the consequences it can have on everyday life and relationships, and the role of psychological therapy. With the aim of offering a clear and reassuring vision to those who wish to better understand these dynamics or are thinking about undertaking a process of personal growth.

These aspects only represent one of the two faces of narcissism. In fact, we can distinguish between grandiose narcissism and covert narcissism, two modalities that differ in the way the person lives and expresses his or her need for recognition. Covert narcissism often receives less social attention, but can still cause deep distress in those who experience it and require support from mental health professionals.

Have you ever wondered if a person with covert narcissism is aware of their own difficulties? In many cases, awareness occurs when the compensatory strategies used to protect self-esteem stop working and a feeling of vulnerability or a strong discrepancy between expectations and reality prevails (Ellison et al., 2013). In covert narcissism, feelings of vulnerability, insecurity, and inadequacy are often closer to awareness.

This is in line with studies suggesting that vulnerable features of pathological narcissism, as opposed to grandiose ones, are associated with greater recourse to psychotherapeutic treatment, making the person more likely to seek help (Fossati et al., 2014). When people talk about narcissism, they often think of flashy behavior and a constant search for attention.

However, as we have already mentioned, grandiose narcissism and covert narcissism represent two very different ways of experiencing the same underlying fragility. Understanding these differences can help recognize dynamics that sometimes remain invisible even to those who experience them firsthand.

People who manifest grandiose narcissism tend to: On the contrary, people who experience covert narcissism (or vulnerable narcissism) are characterized by: These differences are not always easy to grasp, but they can make a difference in the way we experience relationships and deal with fragility. How can you recognize a person with covert narcissism? In grandiose narcissism, grandiosity is evident and manifest.

On the other hand, in covert or vulnerable narcissism, this dimension remains hidden. In the case of covert narcissism, the quality of childhood relationships with caregivers plays a central role. Parents who are able to communicate openly and be emotionally present foster the development of strong self-esteem, which helps face life's challenges.

In contrast, research has shown that parents' tendency toward psychological control and emotional coldness is associated with the development of vulnerable narcissism (Drozek and Unruh, 2020). These interactions can lead the child to construct exaggerated and narcissistic views of themselves as an attempt to protect themselves from feelings of rejection and devaluation.

Covert narcissism can have a profound impact on both those who experience it and those around them. The consequences are reflected in various aspects of daily life, from emotions to relationships.

For those who manifest covert narcissism, the most common consequences may be: For those who relate to a person with covert narcissism (partner, friends, family), the consequences may include: Covert narcissism can cause significant distress, especially in close relationships.

WhoThose who experience this condition often find themselves immersed in a difficult attempt to reconcile their negative view of themselves, marked by shame and a feeling of inadequacy, with the ideal image of success and recognition that they would like to achieve.

This effort sometimes translates into: In covert narcissism, sexuality can be experienced with distance and used as a tool to reinforce one's sense of worth or to gain control in the relationship. It often alternates

References & Sources

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This article is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for personalized medical, psychological, or legal advice.